


The Day Equius Zahhak finds out he's been shipped- with everyone.

by Birdgirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But not all at once. That would be weird., F/M, M/M, Mental Scarring, Run. The author has gone crazy. RUN.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 12:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl/pseuds/Birdgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Equius Zahhak, and you have just found something immensely terrifying.</p><p>Equius finds a shipping book, all about him. Author- Nepeta. Because THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is what a fangirl is capable of. FEAR US.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> I regret to inform you, readers, that I think I've gone utterly and completely crazy. Mad. Bonkers. Whatever you want to call it. But yes, it's finally happened. I'm so sorry.

You are standing at the front of your morail's cave, having just dismounted your lusus. If she is not already aware of your presence, what with her cat-like senses, you make it clear to her as you call out your arrival in your STRONG voice. You wait for her there to approach, but as the minutes pass you discern that she must not be in. She is probably out hunting somewhere, and you regard fondly a mental image of the smile on her face as she rips apart a beast with her bare claws. Such a nice memory.

 

You then remember the decorated parcel tucked beneath your arm, and the reason you made this journey to these dark, ominous surroundings. You have come to deliver a belated gift for Nepeta's 8th wriggling day. It is a pity that you cannot see her now, but you will still do your duty as her morail and deliver the parcel, like the STRONG troll you are. You begin to stride purposefully into the belly of the cave.

 

/

 

The cave is immensely dark, and many times you fall over the bones and carcasses of Nepeta's former meals. It is not long, however, before you find yourself in a room at the end of the cave dimly lit by candles, where you know your morail lives. There is an oversized pet bed on the floor in one corner, where her lusus seems to be sleeping soundly, smiling with two mouths and twitching its paws once in a while, probably dreaming of the hunt. You suppose it would not be the wisest to wake it up.

 

You eye the rest of the room. Drawings adorn the cave walls, and they are of many colors. You think Terezi would enjoy the diversity. Your gaze falls upon a small table near her respite block, clear of everything but a small journal. You decide this is the perfect place to display the parcel. It is a shame that you could not be here to see her open it, but her lusus makes you wary, and you do not know what it likes to eat.

 

As you set the parcel down, you accidentally dislodge the journal, which hits the ground on its spine and falls open. The pages are filled with messy writing, which is in all probability highly personal and extremely confidential. Nepeta would probably cull you if you read it.

 

So you pick up the journal, gently patting the dirt off it, but being careful not to damage the small book with your rather large, rather STRONG hands. You close it, and read the title- why, you don't know. It makes you stop in your tracks. In big, blue, messy lettering, the title reads "Equuius ships."

 

You stare at the journal disdainfully- you had heard of Nepeta's famous shipping walls. In fact, there were many such charts drawn upon the cave walls, you had just never paid any attention to them. Your morail's obsession in fanfiction stories was not relevant to your interests, and you could not see any way she could endanger herself with this interest, so you had let it be.

 

Now, however, you reconsider. You know that it would probably be a perilous endeavor to intrude the girl's privacy. But at the same time, what is the real harm? It's probably just a book of harmless stories, stories about her admiration of you and your STRONG aura. You open to the first page that a story begins. She has titled it "Crabby". You hope this title isn't reflecting what she thinks of you. You read on:

 

_Karkat sits in his computer chair watching his favorite movie- the troll equivalent of 50 first dates. He has just come to the part where troll Adam Sandler meets his palecrush for the second time, and she does not remember him. It is terribly exciting, so he does not hear the door creak open behind him, does not see the tall, quiet troll come in the door behind him..._


	2. Crabby

_The troll is wearing a tank top and shorts, and his black sunglasses are cracked on one side. His dark blue hair falls just past his shoulders, and although he is tall he makes no sound as he walks behind the red-blooded troll._

_Karkat is teary-eyed now. This part is just so sad. Why can't troll Drew Barrymore ever remember him?_

_"Are you quite alright, highblood?" says the mysterious newcomer._

_Karkat bolts around, seeing Equius, and he looks like he's about to yell at the blueblood. Instead, he starts to cry, and jumps up, clinging to the black tank top and burying his head into Equuius' STRONG chest._

_"Why, Equius? Why can’t she remember? He loves her so much, and she always forgets him! It's not fair- it's not fucking fair!"_

_Equius puts his hands on the short troll's shoulders, and pushes him from his firm chest gently, so as not to bruise him, and gazes into Karkat's eyes lovingly._

_"Do not worry, highblood. Does not troll Drew Barrymore remember him in the end? Is this not one of those heartwarming romantic comedies that you enjoy watching?" says Equius._

_"Yes," Karkat answers. "But I always get so fucking teary at this part! Oh, Equius, I just, I don't…"_

_"It's okay." Equius reassures, hugging his matesprit clos-_

Mate...sprit…

 

Him and Karkat…

 

MATESPRITS???

 

You abruptly stop reading. You cannot believe your eyes, you cannot believe these words on the page- you are in an impossibly unbelieving mood at this moment. Which is probably because this situation is unbelievable. Maybe you shouldn't have started reading at all. It was none of your business what Nepeta did in her free time- you weren't her lusus. You were, however, not the type of troll that left things unfinished. Whether it be one of your precious robots, or a slightly disturbing fanfiction, you always finish what you start. And it is because of this reason you read on...

 

_"It's okay." Equius reassures, hugging his matesprit close. He maneuvers the both of them so that he can reach Karkat's grubtop. He pauses the movie and closes the top, leading him and Karkat to sit on top of the purple respite block._

_Karkat continues to cry into his tank, and Equius hates to see his love like this. Slowly, he removes Karkat's hands from where they had a death grip on his tank, moving one of his hands then to tilt the small troll's chin upwards._

_Karkat's eyes are still shiny with tears, and despite his sadness, Equius finds this look, well, cute. He leans in, and Karkat's eyes widen slightly, but lets their lips meet, and soon they're kissing furiously-_

 

You have to stop reading again. This is… this is sick. This is unhealthy. You must have a talk about this when Nepeta comes back from hunting. It is immensely important that you discuss that this is so… it's so… wrong. You flip through the next few pages, only catching a few phrases, which worry you all the more.

 

_Karkat shivers as Equius undoes the button of his pants, rubbing him through the fabric of his-_

_"No, Equius, you have to be naked, too. It's not fair-"_

_"Please, don't stop, I love you-"_

 

Disgusting. It's disgusting. It's sick. It's wrong. You tell yourself to stop reading this and leave- just leave, and try to forget the story. But something tells you it will be a very long time before you are able to do this. Curse your STRONG memory.

 

Your name is Equius Zahhak, and you have just found something immensely terrifying.


End file.
